Olson is a marketing company that promises its clients it will "revolutionize engagement" with its customers. In the case of client Oscar Meyer, this meant sending us eight packs of hot dogs, a loaf of bread, toothpicks, twine and instructions on how to make "the Hot Durkey," in the hope that it would go "viral," which is not the usual meaning of the word "viral" when applied to hot dogs.
At Sandwich Monday, we love both Thanksgiving and free food, so we cooked and assembled the creature in the WBEZ kitchens, and then served it to our Wait Wait family, who, owing to NPR rules about vacation time, are forced to be together today against our will. Just like your family!
Robert: Guys, I think the tradition is to watch football, not eat one.
Miles: Knowing what we know about hot dogs, there's a good chance that at least some of this is turkey.
Peter: The one at the kids' table is made of little Vienna sausages stuck to a dinner roll.
Ian: I'm really excited to watch President Obama pardon a bunch of random pig parts in the Rose Garden.
Lorna: You have to admire the hunters who spend hours sitting completely still, just waiting for a chance to bag a wild hot dog.
Miles: Who could forget the story of the first Thanksgiving, when the Native Americans showed up in the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile to save the starving pilgrims.
Ann: I look forward to making this for my immigrant parents, so they can finally realize their American dream ... obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure.
Miles: I'm typically excited for day-after-Thanksgiving leftovers, but, let's face it, this whole thing started as leftovers.
Peter: Honestly, if this was served when I was a kid, actual turkeys would have ended up being a horrible disappointment.
Ian: Hot dogs don't have tryptophan, so I just crammed mine full of Xanax.
Miles: Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the things you're most thankful for, which is important in this case, because we're all going to be dead soon.
[The verdict: disgusting in concept, delicious in execution.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.
